Bad Attitude

Kids Can...

Nurture a Positive Attitude!

Bad Attitude?

Has anyone ever told you that you just have a "bad attitude"? Ever caught yourself feeling like "who cares?" or "what about ME"? Maybe you've had days where you feel like putting everyone on the planet in a rocket ship and telling them to blast off.

People don't always act the way we want them to. Thing don't always seem to be to our liking. Sometimes we just don't feel we have anything to give, even a kind word.

So what can we do about this?

One thing we can do is take the time to tell ourselves how great we are.

"What! When we're being jerks!?"

Especially when we're being jerks. When we are mean to others it usually means that either our gas tank of self-esteem is pretty low or.. that we are just run down and worn out -- physically and/or emotionally.

Sometimes it is not obvious what is draining us. Sometimes it's something recent (a big project at school or work, a recent problem with a friend or parent). Other times it's something we've been putting up with for a long time (abuse from peers or a family member), or a way of doing things that has become a habit (like saying "yes" to people when we need to say "no").

Whatever the case, it is important to stop -- take a time out -- and take positive inventory of ourselves. It's time to remember what is good -- and good enough -- about us.

If our attitude remains low, or if we are feeing guilty or embarrassed about it, it may help to compare ourselves to the behavior of our animal friends when they are sick or wounded. When an animal senses that it's energy and strength is running extra low, it will often react "negatively" toward others. The mother cat refuses to nurse her young. The faithful dog bites the hand reaching to pet it. Desperate and overwhelmed, the animal withdraws or lashes out to defend itself. This is called "survival behavior".

Guess what? You are a human animal. And human animals engage in survival behavior too!

If you seem to be stuck in survival behavior:

STOP!
Listen to yourself -- to your emotions, thoughts, body sensations.
Take care of and be kind to yourself!
Try to identify who or what is upsetting or draining you.
Find someone safe to talk to. (A professional counselor can be a great help.) Journaling can be a great outlet as well.
Engage in your spiritual practice (prayer, meditation, time in nature, inspirational reading, etc.)
Take action to resolve the situation OR to remove yourself from it until you are calm enough or rested enough that it can be resolved.
Consider that when we are calm, rested, our problems will get resolved -- with a little patience, creativity, and a willingness to try reframing the situation [looking at it from another angle].
Give yourself a mental pat on the back as you do each of these!

NOTE: if these feelings of resentfulness or sadness or lack of energy have been with you for quite a while (weeks, months...years?) it is important to find someone who can support you through working it through. Choose an experienced professional counselor who is willing to listen AND to help you work things through.

If you're hesitant about asking for support, consider this: you probably had someone's "help" in coming to feel the way you do -- why not have help getting over it?

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Nurturing A Positive Attitude