There's an old saying that
you've probably heard. The squeaky wheel gets the oil. In most of our
lives, there are a lot of squeaky wheels: children, spouses/significant
others...Bosses, co-workers, project deadlines, meetings, paper work that is suddenly due
yesterday... Then add in pets, housework, grocery shopping--
So okay, in all this it's easy
to see why we might lose perspective some of the time. Okay, a lot of
the time. And once we've lost a healthy perspective (on what's
important in our life and what we need to do to live in a healthy,
functional rhythm), it can be hard to get it back -- hard to even figure
out what to do get it back. This is why it's good to build up a
resource list, if only mentally, of people, ideas, and experiences
that help us keep a more balanced
perspective -- and to get it back once we've lost it.
Specifically, it's good to
give some thought to ways we can nurture ourselves, ways we can help
ourselves feel loved, taken care of, and safe. Some examples might
be soaking in a hot bath. Having a date night with your spouse
once a week (even if it's putting the kids to bed early and watching a
movie rental). Or perhaps keeping some easy to fix dinner foods in
the freezer or cupboards for those nights when you just need it to fall
on a plate by itself. You can even buy yourself flowers, order a
special book online, or plan an afternoon out -- away from the family
and work.
Its' also good to have
routines that help us plug back in to healthy ways of thinking and doing
-- perhaps a meditation class, a support group, a spa membership or a
friend to go walking with. Even a writing class or book discussion
group can help get us back in touch with the "me" underneath the
"to do"
list. Keeping a journal, or doing some kind of writing about
feelings and our hopes and fears help reconnect us to the inner self that gets lost in the daily hustle bustle. Reading
inspirational literature and talking to others who share our higher
aspirations is another useful tool.
Finally, we also encourage you to
browse through the resources below -- reading the articles, take stock of what is available
to you, both right now,
and at some point where life is getting the better of you. Plan
ahead where you can. Keep your list of pampering options, support
systems, and inspirations where you can refer to it when you need it.
Delegating is an important aspect
of good time management - which in turn leads to improved
work-life balance and reduced stress. It involves a trade-off:
you get to make the best use of your time in exchange for giving
up some control. It also acknowledges that you can't do
everything yourself. Delegates may not do tasks as well as you
would do them - although they might surprise you and do them
better.
While the A.A. Big
Book was originally aimed at alcoholics, it has turned out to be
a source of help, guidance, and inspiration for millions since
its first publication in 1939. The central premise, for
those unfortunates not familiar with this astonishing piece of
literature, is that no human power could relieve us of our
misery, but that a Higher Power could and would, if it were
sought. In this down-to-earth, wise yet humble book, one
finds a great deal of insight and workable advice. But
fortunately, since most of us have a dose of skepticism, one
also finds the invitation to "take what you like and leave the
rest". Here one finds spiritual principles and
practical advice-- not religious dogma or airy-fairy make
believe.
Inspired in part by
psychologist Carl Jung, the A.A. program of recovery invites the
individual suffering from addiction (whether to alcohol, drugs,
compulsive spending, addictive relationships, or just plain
misery) to embark on a journey of spiritual recovery and a "life
of sane and happy usefulness".
(Please note
that the link above points only to the online text of the book,
not to the official AA website.)
Inner peace and balance are of great importance in
everyone’s life. They are highly valued by most people,
though really few possess them. Yet, everyone can develop
them, some more some less.
What do inner peace and
inner balance mean? They mean the presence of self control
and discipline and the ability not to let outside events
influence our emotions, actions and reactions. Their
presence mean the possession of common sense and good
judgment, and of not letting the outside world shake our
inner world.
From the
American Psychiatric Association. Puts you in touch with book
reviews, articles, videos and brochures about a variety of
mental wellness topics for adults and children. Loads of online
information.
An excellent
point of reference for those (or friends of those) having mental
health challenges -- depression, anxiety, suicidal feelings,
etc. Information on how to get help, warning signs, real life
stories, and great links to online and telephone resources for
information and for crisis counseling.
Excellent
site! Find affirmations and techniques to boost your creativity,
as well as humor, a mental workout center, inspiring quotations,
and information about the human brain. There is also a
discussion about creating a physical space to inspire your
creativity, and ideas on how to record your bursts of
inspiration.
This article compares psychologist
Abraham Maslows original "hierarchy of needs" to the reality of
eating disorders and other self-esteem affected problems. A
great inroad to a site devoted entirely to the topic of self-esteem
and its nourishment.
When we're stressed we don't breath
properly and our muscles get tense, making our bodies feel worse. So
when you're feeling close to breaking point breath deeply, exhale
slowly several times and, best of all, get up and walk around. Go
outside or walk to the water cooler to get away from your desk
(don't visit the coffee machine, caffeine might make your mood
worse). Find yourself a quiet spot and meditate for 5 minutes; just
close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing.
Having an
anxiety disorder is challenging enough without the feelings of
shame and isolation that sufferers often feel. Speaking up
and asking for help means revealing that you have a problem--
and wondering if those you open up to will be understanding and
helpful, or ridiculing and dismissive. Thankfully, ADAA
presents this handy online source of information to get you
started in the right direction. ADAA offers information
about medication, support groups, information about finding a
health professional, fact sheets, self tests, and more.
Helpful
thoughts to lift your spirits and your self-esteem -- whether
you need a boost to get a special project under way, or to
soothe your thoughts after a difficult day. For Earth's Kids,
young and old.
Why people
don't do what they know they need to do to take care of
themselves: discusses healing self-esteem issues and looking at
the wellness of the whole self.
Dealing with the loss of a loved one is a trying process
no matter how you approach it. But within many
western cultures death is a subject that we take great
pains to avoid. As children we are shielded from
it. And even as adults we have few opportunities
to really observe and learn from the process of loss and
healing that surrounds death. When a person
in this setting loses a loved one, they feel awkward
being around others, for fear of imposing on them or
displaying feelings that will make others uncomfortable.
As the would-be comforters we rarely know what to say,
and many of our efforts to comfort seem inadequate.
Fortunately those who work closely
with families confronting the process of death and
grieving have much to share with us. Read these
articles from the
Centre for Living with Dying:
(Adobe
Reader required)
A helpful article
from WebMD that guides you through the various labels and
areas of specialty and explains what to look for.
Above all, "A good
therapist is nonjudgmental, accepting, and patient. "
