Inner Balance

 

 

 

Finding Your Inner Balance

There's an old saying that you've probably heard. The squeaky wheel gets the oil. In most of our lives, there are a lot of squeaky wheels: children, spouses/significant others...Bosses, co-workers, project deadlines, meetings, paper work that is suddenly due yesterday... Then add in pets, housework, grocery shopping--

So okay, in all this it's easy to see why we might lose perspective some of the time. Okay, a lot of the time. And once we've lost a healthy perspective (on what's important in our life and what we need to do to live in a healthy, functional rhythm), it can be hard to get it back -- hard to even figure out what to do get it back. This is why it's good to build up a resource list, if only mentally, of people, ideas, and experiences that help us keep a more balanced perspective -- and to get it back once we've lost it.

Specifically, it's good to give some thought to ways we can nurture ourselves, ways we can help ourselves feel loved, taken care of, and safe.  Some examples might be soaking in a hot bath.  Having a date night with your spouse once a week (even if it's putting the kids to bed early and watching a movie rental).  Or perhaps keeping some easy to fix dinner foods in the freezer or cupboards for those nights when you just need it to fall on a plate by itself.  You can even buy yourself flowers, order a special book online, or plan an afternoon out -- away from the family and work.

Its' also good to have routines that help us plug back in to healthy ways of thinking and doing -- perhaps a meditation class, a support group, a spa membership or a friend to go walking with.  Even a writing class or book discussion group can help get us back in touch with the "me" underneath the "to do" list.  Keeping a journal, or doing some kind of writing about feelings and our hopes and fears help reconnect us to the inner self that gets lost in the daily hustle bustle.  Reading inspirational literature and talking to others who share our higher aspirations is another useful tool.

Finally, we also encourage you to browse through the resources below -- reading the articles, take stock of what is available to you, both right now, and at some point where life is getting the better of you.  Plan ahead where you can.  Keep your list of pampering options, support systems, and inspirations where you can refer to it when you need it.

 

 

Boosting Your Emotional Wellness

Delegating: Stop multi-tasking and start multi-plexing
David B. Posen, M.D.

Delegating is an important aspect of good time management - which in turn leads to improved work-life balance and reduced stress. It involves a trade-off: you get to make the best use of your time in exchange for giving up some control. It also acknowledges that you can't do everything yourself. Delegates may not do tasks as well as you would do them - although they might surprise you and do them better.

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The Big Book of AA

While the A.A. Big Book was originally aimed at alcoholics, it has turned out to be a source of help, guidance, and inspiration for millions since its first publication in 1939.  The central premise, for those unfortunates not familiar with this astonishing piece of literature, is that no human power could relieve us of our misery, but that a Higher Power could and would, if it were sought.  In this down-to-earth, wise yet humble book, one finds a great deal of insight and workable advice.  But fortunately, since most of us have a dose of skepticism, one also finds the invitation to "take what you like and leave the rest".   Here one finds spiritual principles and practical advice-- not religious dogma or airy-fairy make believe.  

Inspired in part by psychologist Carl Jung, the A.A. program of recovery invites the individual suffering from addiction (whether to alcohol, drugs, compulsive spending, addictive relationships, or just plain misery) to embark on a journey of spiritual recovery and a "life of sane and happy usefulness".  

(Please note that the link above points only to the online text of the book, not to the official AA website.)

 

Inner Peace and Balance in Daily Life 
By Remez Sasson 


Inner peace and balance are of great importance in everyone’s life. They are highly valued by most people, though really few possess them. Yet, everyone can develop them, some more some less. 

 What do inner peace and inner balance mean? They mean the presence of self control and discipline and the ability not to let outside events influence our emotions, actions and reactions. Their presence mean the possession of common sense and good judgment, and of not letting the outside world shake our inner world. 

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Resources For The Public

From the American Psychiatric Association. Puts you in touch with book reviews, articles, videos and brochures about a variety of mental wellness topics for adults and children. Loads of online information.

 

 

NoStigma.Org

An excellent point of reference for those (or friends of those) having mental health challenges -- depression, anxiety, suicidal feelings, etc. Information on how to get help, warning signs, real life stories, and great links to online and telephone resources for information and for crisis counseling.

 

Creativity Web

Excellent site! Find affirmations and techniques to boost your creativity, as well as humor, a mental workout center, inspiring quotations, and information about the human brain. There is also a discussion about creating a physical space to inspire your creativity, and ideas on how to record your bursts of inspiration.

 

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Self-Esteem -- Our Most Basic Need

This article compares psychologist Abraham Maslows original "hierarchy of needs" to the reality of eating disorders and other self-esteem affected problems.  A great inroad to a site devoted entirely to the topic of self-esteem and its nourishment.

 

Top Ten Tips for Relieving Stress 

When we're stressed we don't breath properly and our muscles get tense, making our bodies feel worse. So when you're feeling close to breaking point breath deeply, exhale slowly several times and, best of all, get up and walk around. Go outside or walk to the water cooler to get away from your desk (don't visit the coffee machine, caffeine might make your mood worse). Find yourself a quiet spot and meditate for 5 minutes; just close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing.

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Living In Balance Magazine

 

 Anxiety Disorders Association of America

Having an anxiety disorder is challenging enough without the feelings of shame and isolation that sufferers often feel.  Speaking up and asking for help means revealing that you have a problem-- and wondering if those you open up to will be understanding and helpful, or ridiculing and dismissive.  Thankfully, ADAA presents this handy online source of information to get you started in the right direction.  ADAA offers information about medication, support groups, information about finding a health professional, fact sheets, self tests, and more. 

 

 

Bad Attitude?

Tips on reframing your self-perception and nurturing yourself into better behavior and a better frame of mind.

 

Look For the Positive Solution

Helpful tips for reframing life's difficulties, as well as a useful meditation exercise.

 

Nurturing A Positive Attitude

Helpful thoughts to lift your spirits and your self-esteem -- whether you need a boost to get a special project under way, or to soothe your thoughts after a difficult day. For Earth's Kids, young and old.

 

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Living The Ten Tenets Of Wellness
by Michael Arloski, Ph.D.

Why people don't do what they know they need to do to take care of themselves: discusses healing self-esteem issues and looking at the wellness of the whole self.

 

ProSpeak

From stress reduction guru Loretta Laroche. Includes a bibliography of recommended books, as well inspirational quips and quotes, stress reduction exercises, and articles about how to be "stress hardy".

The Process of Grieving a Loss

If you've sufferred a significant loss in your life, you may be aware that some of your reactions are simply part of grieving a loss.  But you may not know the full extent of the pattern.  Understanding your process may just give you that little boost to get "unstuck", to reach out for help, or simply to forgive yourself for being human, and normal.

 

Through The Years: Emotional Intelligence
 by Lynne S. Dumas, Dr. Kathryn Barnard, Dr. Charles Flatter and Dr. Robert Brooks

This article not only explains why intellectual development is not the only ingredient in a child's future success in life, but also goes through each major stage of development, explaining what elements of "E.Q." the child is developing and what exactly an adult can do to help. Not surprisingly, adults can play a major role through modeling a healthy emotional response to challenging situations!

 

Understanding the Emotional Landscape:
For Families of Children with Special Needs
By Robert Naseef, Ph.D.

Although initially aimed at parents with "special needs" children, this article is relevant for any parent (or other adult) experiencing challenges with their child-- or even setbacks in their personal life. Includes an overview of the symptoms of depression, advice on when (and when not) to seek medication for depression and how to reinfuse your life with the ingredients that nurture a sense of well-being.

 

 Talk, Trust, & Feel

Tips for coping with anger and letting go of resentments.

 

 

 

 

 

Reaching Out For Support

 

Looking For A Therapist?

This brief article by Beth K. Tobey, clinical psychologist, discusses the differences between the various counseling backgrounds -- from clinical social worker to marriage and family counselor. If you're trying to figure out what those different degrees and licenses mean, this article can help.

Her page also has a nice selection of book recommendations on such topics as: assertiveness, grief, depression, eating disorders, rape and sexual abuse.

 

Choosing The Right Therapist

By Jean Fitzpatrick, N.C.Psy.A. Beyond knowing what the credentials/abbreviations mean, here are some other considerations to keep in mind. You may also want to explore her site to learn more about Pastoral Counseling. Excellent links to sites connecting spirituality and wellness-- mental and physical.

 

 

 

 Alibris - Books You Thought You'd Never Find

06/03/2007

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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