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Guidance & Positive Discipline
Welcome to the Earth's Kids resource page on Guidance and Positive Discipline! One of the biggest problems we see parents struggling with today is finding the balance between excessive permissiveness ("Oh let kids be kids!" as their little darling smacks another in the head with the sand bucket) and excessive authoritarianism ("When I say jump, you say 'How high?!'"). Thus a great deal of our work with parents of young children involves sharing guidelines on when and how to draw the line... while at the same time cultivating warmth & responsiveness, i.e. building connections. Because the stronger and more loving our relationship with our child, the easier it is to get them to cooperate. In part, this is because with a positive relationship they look up to and admire us, and thus naturally look to our leadership. But it is also because a relationship fraught with friction and unmet needs = a child that will act out, seeking to express pain and frustration, or seeking to find (often inappropriate) ways to meet emotional and physical needs. Browse our selection of articles below to find great tips and strategies for handling common behavioral and limit setting challenges -- and for helping your family to build positive, nurturing relationships. Don't miss our selection of great books, the same ones we recommend in parenting classes, for even more in depth information. For more information on parenting, see our Directory of Topics for parents, teachers, and caregivers: http://www.earthskids.com/parents_teachers.aspx
Table of Topics click on of these headings to view articles on that subtopic
click on of these headings to view articles on that subtopic
22 Alternatives to Punishment Great article which summarizes so many of the points that we ourselves have found useful to share in parenting classes over the years, including: Provide a safe, child-friendly environment. There is little point in having precious items within the reach of a baby or toddler, when they can simply be put away until the child is old enough to handle them carefully. Meet the underlying need that led to the behavior. If we punish the outward behavior, the still unmet need will continue to surface in other ways until it is finally met. Questions such as "Are you angry because I've been on the phone so much today? Would you like to go for a walk together?" can help a child feel loved and understood. Give choices. Children need to feel they have a voice. Offering choices, even if they seem unimportant to you ("Do you want the red cup or the blue one?") will help a child feel that he has some say over his life, especially if he has had to cope with recent changes. Ask yourself "Will I look back at this later and laugh?" If so, why not laugh now? Create the kind of memory you would like to have when you look back on this day.
Tough Questions
Parental Guidance: Methods to avoid madness
Appropriate Limits "Punishment is taking some action against the child as a pay-back for a child's behavior. Discipline is shaping a child, teaching the child to understand limits at home or in other settings" This article provides some important insights that help us understand that healthy limit setting and positive discipline, not punishment are the key to instilling positive behavior in children. Read this article -- then follow up with Annie Deckert's article below!
Discover
Your Style
The Three Basic Approaches To Limit Setting -- Authoritarian, Reactionary, and Developmental. Discover your style, and learn which one fosters self-discipline and self-esteem in children. From U.C. Santa Cruz E.C.E. instructor and Explorer Preschool's "Together Time" teacher Annie Castle Deckert. Includes problem-solving and self-test pages, and Annie's recommended reading list.
Five Strategies of The Virtues Project Here is an invaluable resource for teachers and parents wondering how to bring out the best in children -- and themselves. From here, surf their site to learn more about the Virtues Project.
Make Lemons into
Lemonade: Use Positives for Disciplining Children
A "don't miss" article for parents and
educators. Learn how (and why) to rephrase your feedback and requests to
children in positive language -- an important tool for creating a safe,
happy emotional environment, for children and adults.
Surviving
The Toddler Years
An excellent, don't-miss article for
parents & teachers of toddlers.
Guidance Matters -- Build Relationships Through Talk
Although aimed at teachers, this article's examples and advice hold equally true for parents as well. Essentially, Gartrell shows, children are much more responsive to our needs and requests when we take time to listen to and connect with them. Even just 3 minutes of one on one at the start of the day can make the difference.
Trauma Information For Parents
Developmental Considerations Concerning Children's Grief A very useful article for understanding how children of different ages will most likely handle grief and loss, along with useful intervention strategies for each age. An informative but brief piece, presented out in a helpful table format.
How to encourage sharing by laying the groundwork with your child.
Helping Children Cope
How To Talk To Your Child
How To Talk To
Your
How To Talk To
Your Child
General Resources -- Useful Links:
Development -- Behavior & Discipline Articles on tantrums, ADD, habits, routines, and discipline strategies. Click the "Behavior & Discipline" category from the "subcategory" box, then click on the age group you want information on. Provided by Parents.com Here is an invaluable resource for teachers and parents wondering how to bring out the best in children -- and themselves. From here, surf their site to learn more about the Virtues Project. Whether or not you are already familiar with her acclaimed books on positive discipline, you can breeze by Jane Nelson's website and read her articles and her answers to past and present "Questions of the Week", as well as learn about her books and audio tapes which can be ordered directly online. An excellent collection of articles from PBS.org for parents and caregivers in the area of child development. Covers children's emotional well-being, physical development, and top notch techniques for providing positive discipline and guidance.
Click a topic to view our selection of top quality, educator recommended books!
use the inner scroll bar to browse more books on positive discipline
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