22 Alternatives to Punishment Helpful article which summarizes many important points that parents learn to incorporate to increase family harmony and decrease vengeful acting out, including: "Provide a safe, child-friendly environment. There is little point in having precious items within the reach of a baby or toddler, when they can simply be put away until the child is old enough to handle them carefully. "Meet the underlying need that led to the behavior. If we punish the outward behavior, the still unmet need will continue to surface in other ways until it is finally met. Questions such as "Are you angry because I've been on the phone so much today? Would you like to go for a walk together?" can help a child feel loved and understood. "Give choices. Children need to feel they have a voice. Offering choices, even if they seem unimportant to you ("Do you want the red cup or the blue one?") will help a child feel that he has some say over his life, especially if he has had to cope with recent changes. Ask yourself "Will I look back at this later and laugh?" If so, why not laugh now? Create the kind of memory you would like to have when you look back on this day. " [Read More]
How To Make Young Children Behave "The word 'discipline' actually means 'to teach.' The discipline you use to get your child to behave teaches her about herself and about her relationships to others. Good discipline sets limits and rules and helps a child focus on how to follow the rules. Good discipline doesn't punish a child for making mistakes. It teaches her what to do instead. "Some people think discipline means spanking or yelling unkind words to make children suffer enough so that they will never do wrong again. Unfortunately, this kind of discipline teaches a young child the wrong things. It teaches him that the world is unpredictable and unsafe. This kind of discipline teaches a child that if no one is watching, he can get away with "bad" behavior. It also teaches a child that threatening and hurting people is how to get them to do what you want. "Wise parents understand that good discipline teaches a child to behave even when parents are not around. They know that a child will be better behaved in the long run if parents act like caring teachers rather than angry "bosses." They know that a child does not need to be taught "who is the boss." Instead, a child needs to know how to get along with other people. Your child will work very hard to please you when you treat her with love and respect while setting fair and firm limits on her behavior." [READ MORE]
Principles of Parenting: Am I Spoiling My Child? Many parents, who were themselves raised by parents who seemed excessively strict and punishing, want to be more loving and responsive with their own children. But when we don't have a good role model for such positive parenting how are we to know when we have crossed over the line into excessive permissiveness? And at what point does our children's "bad behavior" indicate we are doing something wrong... and when is it just "normal" behavior? This very sensible article from Ellen Abell explains just which of our parenting behaviors constitute "spoiling" (i.e. instigating dysfunctional attitudes) and which are right on target. Learn how to give your children positive attention that will help them become more self-reliant and loving members of the family. For even more help on this topic, check out Mommy and Daddy Are Always Supposed to Say Yes, Aren't They.
Tough Questions
Tackles the most common and
highly charged situations that we face as parents -- including
siblings who constantly bicker, children who refuse to cooperate, "tweens"
who mouth off and resist doing as asked, and etc. We highly
recommend this article, especially to those of you with multiple
children in varying age stages.
Parental Guidance: Methods to avoid madness
"The backbone of positive discipline, prevention means shrinking or eliminating the chance that kids will misbehave. In the first year or so, it comes naturally: You don’t tell your crawling baby not to go near the stairs and angrily look for consequences when she doesn’t obey; you put up a gate..." Learn about prevention, setting limits, offering choices, asking questions, time out, natural/logical consequences, and other essential ingredients for effective discipline. Sensible and well-informed.
"Spanking is not only not helpful, it is risky," Durrant states. She cites research showing that children who are spanked are more likely to be aggressive. "If you're in a rush to get ready for daycare and your three-year-old is having a temper tantrum because she doesn't want to wear the red shirt you picked out, you can feel like having a tantrum yourself." READ MORE
Appropriate Limits
"Punishment is taking some action against the child as a pay-back for a child's behavior. Discipline is shaping a child, teaching the child to understand limits at home or in other settings" This article provides some important insights that help us understand that healthy limit setting and positive discipline, not punishment are the key to instilling positive behavior in children.
Discover
Your Style The Three Basic Approaches To Limit Setting -- Authoritarian, Reactionary, and Developmental. Discover your style, and learn which one fosters self-discipline and self-esteem in children. From U.C. Santa Cruz E.C.E. instructor and Explorer Preschool's "Together Time" teacher Annie Castle Deckert. Includes problem-solving and self-test pages and Annie's recommended reading list
Five Strategies of The Virtues Project Here is an invaluable resource for teachers and parents wondering how to bring out the best in children -- and themselves. From here, surf their site to learn more about the Virtues Project.
Make Lemons into
Lemonade: Use Positives for Disciplining Children
A "don't miss" article for parents and
educators. Learn how (and why) to rephrase your feedback and requests to
children in positive language -- an important tool for creating a safe,
happy emotional environment, for children and adults.
Surviving
The Toddler Years
An excellent, don't-miss article for
parents & teachers of toddlers.
Guidance Matters -- Build Relationships Through Talk
Although aimed at teachers, this article's examples and advice hold equally true for parents as well. Essentially, Gartrell shows, children are much more responsive to our needs and requests when we take time to listen to and connect with them. Even just 3 minutes of one on one at the start of the day can make the difference.
Being Understanding: A Key to Developing Healthy Children "Being understanding with our children can result in less conflict in our relationships with them. Being understanding is also an important part of helping our children become secure and healthy people. And being understanding is a powerful way of showing love. Most of us feel that we are already good at under- standing our children and at showing that understanding. But there are surprises in the process of under- standing. The ways we try to show understanding often don't work very well. " [READ MORE]
Bullying: What Parents Can Do About It This printable guide offers a wide range of strategies for parents of bullied children as well as links to additional resources. Good reading for any parent so that you can identify the various types of bullying and talk to your kids about how to respond when bullied. Childhood Aggression: Where does it come from? How can it be managed?
Children aren’t born
aggressive, they learn it. But what do we do when we find
ourselves faced with aggressive behavior? We can't
rewind the learning process or erase traumas or harmful influences
that have created a child's aggressive behaviors. But
thankfully there are many things we can do and this article outlines
them in helpful detail.
Encouraging Less Aggressive Behavior Teacher-tested tips on nurturing gentleness in the preschool classroom (and home).
POWER PLAY: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Why do children play power games such as super heroes versus super villains? Is TV and the media to blame? And most importantly how can parents, teachers, and care providers respond appropriately so as to allow children's underlying needs to be met... while still keeping everyone safe? This article tackles the issues.
The 5 different types of tantrums and how best to handle each one (and how to avoid them).
Enjoying Each Child As An Individual An important part of parenting siblings is helping them to each feel loved and special, and to acknowledge and encourage their individual strengths and aptitudes. Forcing children to conform to a singular ideal or negatively comparing them ("Why can't you be more like your brother?") is the recipe for conflict -- whether expressed or repressed. Here is an article with excellent pointers that will help you cope with and value the "individuals" in your life.
Sending Messages of...LOVE
Spending special one-on-one time together with each child, such as
parent/child "dates", can really help defuse the sibling tensions.
But spending time together is just one way to show our children that
we love them.
Siblings: From the Field Guide to Parenting
An impressive overview drawing on advice from a number of experts and authors. Great ideas
for everyone!
Stop the Fighting!
Teasing Triggers, Looking for Patterns, Kid-Based Solutions, and Sibling Strategies.
How to encourage sharing by laying the groundwork with your child.
Helping Children Who Are
Now That We're Divorced, How Can We Parent Together? Tackles such issues as why divorced parents should cooperate, how to deal with the serious problems that may arise if one spouse is uncooperative or is abusive to the children, and how to help yourself and the children adjust. Helpful book suggestions for children and adults included.
Explaining Divorce to Children Like so many other things in the social world, children need our guidance in making sense of the changes that accompany divorce. But what exactly do we say? This article helps parents navigate a tricky landscape.
Children's Reactions to Divorce -- Ages and Stages
Children react to divorce differently at different ages. But more importantly, parents and other child care providers can learn how to best support children during this difficult time of transition.
How To Talk To Your Child
How To Talk To Your
How To Talk To
Your Child
Helping Children Cope with
Developmental Considerations Concerning Children's Grief A very useful article for understanding how children of different ages will most likely handle grief and loss, along with useful intervention strategies for each age. An informative but brief piece, presented out in a helpful table format.
Helping Young Children After a Disaster Interesting and important information from the NAEYC, the National Association for the Education of Young Children. Disaster: Helping Children Cope From the National Association of School Psychologists, this article includes common stages and reactions plus concrete suggestions for emotionally supporting a child after a disaster.
Children's Reaction To Trauma: Suggestions for Parents From the National Association of School Psychologists. Helping Children Handle Disaster Related Anxiety Helpful information for comforting preschool and school age children from the National Mental Health Information Center. Tips for Talking To Children After A Disaster From the National Mental Health Information Center, this collection of articles is aimed at helping teachers, and parents, find successful and sensitive ways to help kids process large scale tragedies, both natural and manmade.
General Resources: Useful Links:
Publications from the Alabama Cooperative Extension System.
Development -- Behavior & Discipline Articles on tantrums, ADD, habits, routines, and discipline strategies. Click the "Behavior & Discipline" category from the "subcategory" box, then click on the age group you want information on. Provided by Parents.com
Here is an invaluable resource for teachers and parents wondering how to bring out the best in children -- and themselves. From here, surf their site to learn more about the Virtues Project.
Whether or not you are already familiar with her acclaimed books on positive discipline, you can breeze by Jane Nelson's website and read her articles and her answers to past and present "Questions of the Week", as well as learn about her books and audio tapes which can be ordered directly online.
An excellent collection of articles from PBS.org for parents and caregivers in the area of child development. Covers children's emotional well-being, physical development, and top notch techniques for providing positive discipline and guidance.
Click a topic to view our selection of top quality, educator recommended books!
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